The Silent Struggles: Understanding Domestic Violence When Survivors Evade Their Abusers
Our organization is committed to assist with keeping survivors of domestic violence safe. Essentially, it is courageous for a survivor to remain in a domestic violence situation and it is also courageous to evade a domestic violence situation. Unfortunately, domestic violence is an issue that impacts millions worldwide, often leaving deep, invisible scars on survivors. Among the myriad forms it takes, one of the most heart-wrenching is the violence that ensues when a survivor attempts to evade their abuser. This situation is marked by a unique and harrowing blend of fear, courage, and resilience.
Nicole Bullock at 29-years old was murdered by Rodney Crawford on Sunday, March 05, 2023, after a series of hardship through assault and abuse. Nicole was a single mother of five boys, ages 2 to 13. Court documents reflect that Nicole filed a domestic violence protection order in July 2021 which expired in April 2022. As a result, she filed a new order of protection. However, Crawford the father of Nicole's 2-year-old son, broke into Bullock's home and assaulted her in January. This caused for Crawford to be placed on house arrest for his actions yet Nicole was murdered by Crawford while at a Durham hotel. Nicole encountered unnecessary barriers when trying to seek refuge.
Nicole is described as hard-working and outgoing. She is also known as being a phenomenal mother that devoted her life to her sons. Nicole had a keen sense of humor and had a passion for yoga. She was working on opening her own yoga studio.
Vividbound's partnerships with Nicole Bullock's family requires a village. The communities' organizations that advocate in support of survivors of domestic violence and those who have passed away due to domestic violence are working together to ensure that Justice for Nicole is fully implemented.
Our mission is to bring awareness to the public with regards to the needed support to have legislative changes that entail educating authorities while protecting those who have endured domestic violence.
Did you know?
50 to 75% of women who are killed as a result of domestic violence homicides are killed AFTER they leave.
When a survivor of domestic violence makes the brave decision to leave their abuser, it is often the most dangerous time in the cycle of abuse. The abuser, feeling a loss of control, may escalate their efforts to reassert dominance. This can manifest in increased physical violence, stalking, and other forms of intimidation. The period immediately following the escape is critical, as the abuser's desperation can lead to unpredictable and violent behavior.
Beyond physical violence, abusers often employ psychological tactics to instill fear and maintain control. This can include threats of harm to the survivor, their loved ones, or even themselves. Abusers may also spread lies and rumors, isolating the survivor from their support network and manipulating legal and social systems to their advantage. The psychological toll of constantly being on alert and the fear of being found can be overwhelming.
The Role of Support Networks
For survivors, having a robust support network can make a significant difference. Friends, family, shelters, and advocacy organizations provide crucial emotional, financial, and logistical support. These networks can help survivors navigate the complex and often daunting process of leaving an abusive relationship. From finding safe housing to obtaining legal protection, the support system acts as a lifeline for those in crisis.
Join us in our mission in providing survivors of abuse with a comprehensive approach that involves legal protection, a robust support networks, and dedicated resources to ensure the safety and wellbeing of survivors. By raising awareness and fostering a compassionate and supportive community, we can better support those who have bravely taken the step to escape abuse and rebuild their lives.
Our organization is committed to assist with reforming family court. Vividbound's mission aligns with the National Parents Organization (NPO). The NPO supports volunteer advocates in states across the country to reform outdated child custody laws that are not in the best interest of children. The NPO develops state chapters to educate legislators about the value of legislative changes to promote shared parenting while educating judges along with other divorce professionals about the importance of court rules and practices in promoting children's well-being.
Sadly, a 3-year-old boy named Jesse Ray Adams was shot and killed by his father on July 13, 2012, while at his home. At this time, Jesse's parents were married yet estranged.
Jesse's mother had a restraining order on file against Jesse's father. However, Jesse's father was granted joint custody of Jesse. On July 13, 2012, Jesse's father called Jesse's mother several times. The last call made for that day entailed the father pulling the trigger on Jesse as Jesse was speaking to his mother. The father then turned the gun on himself.
As a result of Jesse's unfortunate demise, Jesse’s mother, Christy Melvin,
launched the Jesse Ray Adams Foundation to help campaign a proposal for Jesse’s Law in North Carolina (NC). "I hope to change laws pertaining to domestic violence in family court systems,” said Christy. Moreover, Christy also expressed, “We need to protect the kids in all of these divorce proceedings. The kids are basically fought (over) and it shouldn’t be that way. They should be in the best environment.”
Jesse’s Law NC would require judges, prosecutors and other authorities to receive grant-funded domestic violence training, particularly as it pertains to children and what happens when a child ends up in the custody of an abusive parent or guardian.
Vividbound's partnerships with the Jesse Ray Adams Foundation requires a village. The communities' organizations that advocate in support of survivors of domestic violence and those who have passed away due to domestic violence are working together to ensure that Jesse's Law NC would be authorized and fully implemented.
October 22, 2023, from 1:30p.m. to 2:30p.m. Vividbound and the Jesse Ray Adams Foundation team will be gathering at the NC State Capital Building in honor of those who have passed away due to domestic violence. Our mission is to bring awareness to the public with regards to the needed support to have legislative changes that entail educating authorities while protecting those who have endured domestic violence.
Did you know?
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 1 in 15 children are exposed to domestic violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence. Author Helen Rubenstein wrote an article titled, Domestic Violence and Child Custody: The Dangers of a Presumption of Joint Physical Custody. According to Helen Rubenstein, "When child custody disputes collide with a history of domestic violence, children are likely to get hurt. Aside from court proceedings that involve child abuse or neglect, there are five main points where issues of child custody intersect with domestic violence, including (1) when victims seek protective orders; (2) during divorce proceedings; (3) when parenting time is being decided; (4) when child protective services become involved with the family; and (5) when a parent removes a child from one country to another because of domestic violence. There are different considerations at each of these points, but the common goal in each situation should be the best interests of the child and the safety of the non-violent parent.
When couples divorce, abusive parents often use custody proceedings as a way to continue a campaign of control and coercion against the former spouse. Studies show that 25 to 50 percent of disputed custody cases involve domestic violence and that batterers are more likely to seek sole custody than non-abusive fathers and they are just as likely as non-abusive fathers to receive custody. Most U.S. states require a court to consider domestic violence in making custody awards and the laws of 22 states, plus the District of Columbia, have presumptions against joint custody in cases where domestic violence has occurred. Still, courts often fail to identify and consider violence in custody decisions, even when there is a history of substantial domestic abuse. Not only are children harmed by witnessing domestic violence, but men (or the violent partner) who assault their partners parent differently even when they do not abuse their children. They are less involved with their children than other fathers, and they use negative parenting methods such as spanking, anger and shaming. They tend to undermine the other parent’s authority and are generally poor role models for developing healthy relationships and conflict resolution. "
*** Please be advised the details provided within the article noted above is not mentioned to negate or indicate that Vividbound views all domestic violence incidents when involving the biological parents as the father (male partner) being the violent parent or abuser. Additionally, Vividbound is aware that custody disputes regarding biological parents involved in domestic violence, that some fathers (males) are also subjected to domestic violence and are referenced as being the survivor of domestic violence while the mother (female) is found to be the violent partner.
Essentially, the main focus for presenting the article mentioned above is to hone in on ensuring that children involved in domestic violence custody disputes should be protected while safeguarding the parent that endured domestic violence.***
Join us in our mission to ensure authorities are knowledgeable about the needs of protecting children involved in custody cases that entail domestic violence occurrences while prioritizing the domestic violence survivor's safety and wellbeing as well.
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